Sobriety Part Deu
Renunciation: The formal REJECTION of something, typically a belief, claim or course of action.
Abdication: To give up, renounce especially in a voluntary or public manner.
I remember when I first got sober...
The first week I went to meetings I sat in every one of them holding onto the firmest MAYBE I could muster at the time. "Not yet", "I'm not ready" were the verbal emotions circling in my head but as they told me time and time again... I just kept coming back. I was too broken to do anything else but listen and follow. I couldn't go back to what I had come from. And so out of BLIND FAITH I moved forward.
And here we are again... experiencing another emotional bottom; A bottom that I have found IN sobriety (Imagine that). The feeling is the same. FEAR!! "But...What if I fail?" "What if I'm not strong enough?"
Self Doubt is a BITCH of an emotional spiral. But I keep trying to remind myself...
"Back to the basics... All you have is TODAY!!"
In time we shall see.